By Coco Millar
I have heard many time the phrase “I can’t be a femenist, I’m a man” or “I’m not sexist, but I’m not a feminist”. A lot of males think that being a feminist is incompatible with being a man, or that questioning patriarchy is unmanly, when in fact “masculinity” is an imposed social construction that does not fit many of us and that does not make us any less deserving of our manhood.
Many others also think that feminism is believing that “women are better than men”, they completely ignore the fact that the core belief is “full social, economic, and political equality for everyone”. It’s true that is more focused on women, but that’s because they started the fight and they are one of the most affected by the patriachy, but by no meaning they are the only ones affected by it or the only ones who benefit from the movement.
Growing up, I always felt left out from “the boys”, because I’ve always been sensitive, artistic, not interested in sports and had many girl friends (maybe cause I have three sisters and no brothers). So for me patriarchy was very real from day one, I felt it affecting my life and the life of women around me. I learnt about feminism the hard way trying to find my place and my identity as a “not manly enough” man in this society.
After the struggle, I came to understand many important things, that later realised my male friend didn’t and were suffering from: the pressure to be always strong, the lack of emotional intelligence, and the shame of liking “girly” things.
That’s why I will keep supporting women in their fight, because even though they are the deserved protagonist of it, the whole society benefist from this.